Sense of place!!!

Over the years I have been one of many victims of bullying. Even today, myself and many more are judged and discriminated against by their appearance. Having bright pink hair and an eccentric style does have its downfalls; of course, I would never change my appearance in a bid to stop the stares and constant whispers but there are times where ‘the norm’ seems to be the ‘only’ option.

I have always been that bit different to others, not afraid to conform I had always been the outcast in life situations. When twelve I went through the hardest year of my life, people who I thought had been my friends began to bully me. The odd remark, the odd slap I could deal with, however, the daily torment and overwhelming feeling of not being good enough was one that I couldn’t. Like many victims, I became a recluse hoping that my silence would bore the bullys, unfortunately it was another reason to torment me. Life did become unbearable, school and life itself became a struggle. I attempted suicide which came as the first time for my parents to hear my cry for help. I always think what if it worked?! The bullies would of won, yes, they would have to live with that for the rest of their lives but ultimately I would of given in.

I am now twenty, so far my life has been a rather amazing journey, a few minor bumps along the way, granted, but a life I can safely say I have been living to its fullest. I look in a mirror and I am pleased with the person I have become. We all want to change aspects of ourselves, but I see someone who is strong, who trusts and loves despite being hurt looking back at me.  The bullies have never apologised for what they did, that for me shows what sort of person they are. If anything I am grateful and thankful for what they did, without that I wouldn’t be the person I am today. They taught me valuable lessons in life, if only they learnt from their actions.

Looking back at this dark stage of my life, I have come to realise that sense of place doesn't necessarily have to be a good place, during this time, I didn't feel a sense of belonging and school became a place that I would dread going to.